I’m either the lazy man or the modern man.

I’m not sure which.

I’m convinced I am the sole reason for the saturation of commercials during the NASCAR race broadcasts. I break the age old mold of the television viewer, so advertisers have to throw a lot of mud on my wall to get some of it to stick.

I watch NASCAR races on my own personal time-delay. I’ll pause the DVR and then play catch up throughout the race, gleefully whisking through commercials, unless I see Denny Hamlin racing Marty down the hall. Or, a UPS or NAPA commercial with my all-time favorite washed-up, sell-out driver, Dale Jarrett. Sometimes I’ll forget to fast forward and catch some new commercials.

On a perfect Sunday afternoon, I’m watching the last 15 minutes of the race live. Sometimes I fall asleep and sometimes I’ve got to tend the chicken cooking on the grill, so I’ll get up to an hour or so behind. (Which freaks me out because I pressure myself to update the race results stats for my NASCAR Points Standings Widgets post-haste.)

I’ve only listened to the broadcast on radio while watching the race on television once. I really dug it. But, I would rather not miss the television commentary more than I want to hear the radio play-by-play. I suppose I could turn up the radio during commercials, but that wouldn’t work with my commercial skipping tactic of pausing the DVR and then playing catch up.

How do you NASCAR? What’s your Lazy Man’s Way To NASCAR?”

“The three kinds of lies, right?

So why do we love NASCAR statistics so much?

Because they give a predictability to the outcome of a race. Even when a driver’s average finish or track type averages don’t pan out, we have the satisfaction of identifying it as out of the ordinary.

But, what happens when you take NASCAR statistics and apply some real brain power to them?

You get ‘The McClearn Report’.

Steve McClearn is a NASCAR fan and someone that knows a thing or two about statistics and probability. He is currently working on an algorithm that uses driver statistics to help predict a driver’s finish position.

Each week, he’ll provide his driver finish position chart to help all of you fantasy race players make good decisions for the race. He’s planning on providing a pre-qualifying and post-qualifying chart of expected driver finishes.

I’m still working the navigation layout in the Fantasy Racing section to accomodate his articles, but that is where they will be.

For now, here’s a direct link to ‘The McClearn Report’ for this Sunday’s UAW DiamlerChyrsler 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.”

Some interesting numbers for trivial talk and NASCAR fantasy race games relating to this Sunday’s UAW DiamlerChrysler 400 at Las Vegas Motor Speedway.

Las Vegas Motor Speedway

1: Laps led at last year’s UAW DiamlerChrysler 400 by race winner Jimmie Johnson.
3: Back-to-back race winners at Las Vegas. Jeff Burton (1999/2000), Matt Kenseth (2003/2004), Jimmie Johnson (2005/2006).
5: Side-by-side laps that Jeff & Ward Burton battled for the win during the last 15 laps of the 1999 Las Vegas 400. Jeff prevailed.
6: Different NASCAR Cup race winners.
7: Jimmie Johnson’s average finish position.
8: Increase in the degree of turn banking. Previously a mere 12° banking is now 20°.
9: Number of NASCAR Cup races.
10: Casey Mears’ average finish position.
13.462: Increase in mph between final practice speeds last year versus the top speed in January’s morning testing session.
15: Average start position of race winner at Las Vegas.
18.683: Increase in mph between final practice speeds last year versus the top speed in January’s afternoon ‘drafting’ testing session.
22: Dale Earnhardt Jr.’s average finish position.
3,294: Number of days since the above picture of Mark Martin and the Vegas hotties.
2,410,508: Amount of $1 bills Jeff Gordon has pocketed for racing at Las Vegas.”

“I’ve quietly added some more statistics for you NASCAR statistic junkies to chew your fantasy-race-team-picks-cud on.

About half of the NASCAR ‘Loop Data’ that I’ve harvested is up in the Drivers Stats section. I’m somewhat distracted from completing the rest of the pages at the moment. But, will have them up soon.

I’ve always been intrigued by the numbers available in the Loop Data. It provides some very detailed driver performance information. I was encouraged by an email from Mike (NASCAR blogger extraordinare) at Trouble in Turn 2. He really digs the data too. So, as with everything…I’m sure were not alone in that vewpoint.

So what is there?

• Average Running Position
• Driver Ratings
• Late Race Closers
• Quality Passes
• Running On Lead Lap

Any thoughts on better ways to present the information and/or combine it? I’m all ears. Email me at me[at]onebadwheel[dot]com.”

UAW DiamlerChrysler 400

Back To Racing

This week we get back to racing as NASCAR heads to Las Vegas with the 3rd race of the season.

My Pick To Win Las Vegas

The Las Vegas Motor Speedway has been reconfigured since last year and has the progressive banking like at Homestead-Miami. For that reason I am going to go with Greg Biffle to win the race this weekend. Greg has won the last 3 races at Homestead but suffered a serious crash while doing a tire test for Good Year at Las Vegas this spring in which he dislocated his shoulder when he blew a tire. Since then Good Year has decided to go with a harder tire for this week’s race.

Frontrunners at Las Vegas

During a test session in early February the Dodge teams of Ray Evernham were very stout. Elliott Sadler led 2 of the 4 practice sessions with Kasey Kahne and Scott Riggs being near the top of the field in most of the test sessions. Sadler ran a lap of over 188 mph which is almost 14 mph faster than the track record set by Kahne a few years ago.

Kevin Harvick has been on a tear during the early going this season and might have won both races if not for suffering a cut tire during a late race caution at California 2 weeks ago. All of the RCR teams have looked strong early this season with Jeff Burton and Clint Bowyer running strong in both races also.

Mark Martin is leading the points race right now but still insists that he won’t run a full schedule this season for Ginn Racing. However, Mark tested the COT at Bristol which is supposed to be driven by Reagan Smith in the first race that Mark will sit out this year. If Mark continues to have good runs over the next 2 weeks I think we will see him change his mind and try to run for the championship this season.

The rest of the Roush teams have always been good at the old Las Vegas track and it looks like Matt Kenseth has the eye of the tiger back at this point in the season. Losing Mark Martin as a teammate and mentor hasn’t seemed to affect Matt at all so far this season. Carl Edwards has been struggling a little bit once again but it is early in the year.

Tony Stewart was one of the best last year at the mile and a half tracks and has had a great car the past 2 weeks and really has nothing to show for it after getting wrecked a Daytona and then finding himself in a hole after getting caught for speeding on pit road at California.

Jimmie Johnson has won the last 2 races at Las Vegas but that was before it was reconfigured. Jimmie finished in the top 10 at Homestead last year in a race that he wasn’t trying to win. He was merely trying to win a championship then. Jeff Gordon has looked a little better early this year than he has early on the last couple of seasons.

Dale Earnhardt Jr. is going to be worried once again this weekend as to whether his engine is going to hold out. Junior blew 2 engines during the test session at Las Vegas in February and then lost an engine along with his teammate, Martin Truex Jr., at California.

Kurt Busch is another driver that has looked like he is ready to break out very soon and Ryan Newman has also looked much improved this season over last. One of these weeks these guys are going to dominate a race in the very near future.

Yahoo! Fantasy Picks

Group A

• Greg Biffle (starter)
• Kasey Kahne

Group B

• Scott Riggs (starter)
• Elliott Sadler (starter)
• Mark Martin
• Kurt Busch

Group C

• J.J. Yeley (starter)
• Reed Sorenson

“

I still don’t get the man-on-the-street interview responses by some of the citizens in the state of Washington about the detrimental effect of building a NASCAR track in Kitsap County.

Do they envision droves of redneck-SOUTHERNERS from the backwoods of Tennessee, the Carolina’s, Georgia and Alabama will invade their state? Or, worse yet, the incomprehensible Yankee redneck?

I know this country boy ain’t gonna trek 1700 miles to Seattle to watch the race, drink beer and piss on their lawns.

Why don’t they understand that the NASCAR fans of Washington are ALREADY living in their community? That’s right, it’s the people living right there amongst them!

They are clearly not thinking this thing through.

How glorious will it be to have the Walmart all to yourselves that one weekend a year?

The plump chick’s walking around in fuzzy house slippers and jammy bottoms won’t be there to make your face cringe in disgust. She’ll be at the race with her old man.

Those burr-headed, loud-mouth boys with all the tattoo’s? Yep, they’ll be at the race too.

The 8 item ‘Speedy Aisle’ will be unencumbered with the illogical white trash that glare at you and snarl , “Ten 12-packs of beer count as one item. They’re all the same thing!”

Heck, you could declare race weekend as your own official ‘Liberal Enlightenment’ weekend.

Think of the camaraderie you’ll feel knowing every person walking the streets, each driver on the road is of the same mindset as you. Sweet! It will be like the ‘White Trash Rapture’ had come and delivered you from the inconvenience of their nasty presence.

I hate to be the one to lay this on ya baby…but, I know for a fact that Washington and its neighboring states have many a NASCAR fan.

One of the neat reports that Google Analytics has is the ‘Geo Map Overlay’. It’s a visual representation of where your websites visitors are from geographically.

Note all the dots on my report for OneBadWheel. Plenty of dots in the upper North West.

Plus, I reckon they’re not all that backwards of folk either. Here’s a brief look at the technological savvy of my visiting NASCAR fans.

• They are huge supporters of your Big Company Microsoft. 83% of my NASCAR visitors use Internet Explorer (with over half of them making the upgrade to IE7 this year.)
• 91% are running Windows XP. So, they obviously have the resources to have newer computers. 1% of the visitors are already using a spankin’ new computer running Vista.
• 89% of my NASCAR visitors have a 17″ or larger monitor (with 27% of that having at least 19″ or larger). Not a 15″ monochrome as you’d expect in the corner of their trailer.
• 85% of my NASCAR visitors use DSL/Cable internet connections.

That doesn’t sound much like a group of uneducated, cousin-kissing, low morals group of people.

I’d even bet that most of them have the majority of their teeth and drive nice pickups cars as well.”

Call me obsessive. Call me petty. Call me a strange.

I swear I’m not alone in this!?!

Double redundancy drives me crazy. Not mad crazy. More like a mental vertigo. You know what I’m talking about.

These:

• A hot water heater
• A free gift
• Past history

Worse yet:

• ATM machine. Automatic teller machine machine
• HIV virus. Human immunodeficiency virus virus
• Pin number. Personal identification number number

Now we have the official NASCAR 2-for-1 deal. It’s the CoT car.

That’s right. The car of tomorrow car.

It’s almost like a sponsor. ‘Yeah, the [car of tomorrow] car was running really good. I can’t say enough for my crew, they are really great.’

Please, for my sanity, it’s just the car of tomorrow…er, today.”

What does this NASCAR fan do during a slow race week?

He finally breaks down and watches Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby.

I know it’s 7 months after the release date and probably a year after the initial non-stop promoting began, but I’m unusually resistant to most comedies. While everyone else is laughing, I’m looking at the clock wondering how much longer until the movie ends.

The movie was, eehh, alright. I’m actually gonna watch it again as a form of therapy to break through my hard anti-comedy shell. Until last night, I’ve never watched a Will Ferrell movie all the way through. My first complete Adam Sandler movie was Click earlier this year. But, for the sake of my comedy loving wife and kids, I’m gonna soldier on.

SayWA!?!

As a lifelong stock-car racing fan, I’m used to the stereotypes portrayed in Hollywood movies towards my ilk. But, I’m wondering if there is something in the great state of Washington that fosters extreme stereotyping of NASCAR fans?

We have a dear, sweet friend that lives close to Texas Motor Speedway (for my reference that’s about 10 minutes, since we live about 20 minutes from TMS) and she won’t even leave the house on race weekends. Her minds-eye is filled with visions of drunkenness and teen/adult debauchery running rampant. Her pet name for NASCAR is ‘NAStyCAR”.

She is from Washington.

If you haven’t read the diatribe spewing out of 2 of Washington state’s representatives towards NASCAR and the recent entourage (Richard Petty, Darrell Waltrip & Greg Biffle) encouraging them to consider building a track in Kitsap county Washington, hold on to your ‘Wonder Bread’ ball cap.

Washington state representative Larry Seaquist states, “These people are not the kind of people you would want living next door to you, they’d be the ones with the junky cars in the front yard and would try to slip around the law.â€?

Washington state House Speaker Frank Chopp, referred to Richard Petty as “that guy who got picked up for a DUI.”

Chopp later said he “wasn’t sure” Petty was the guy he was thinking of. He apologized and called the remark “inappropriate and wrong.”

David Poole has a succinct writeup of the story. Plus, there is a lively debate at the Kitsap County newspaper blog.”